dubstep hurts my feelings

I know what you're thinking, I know you've felt neglected, like I hit it and quit it. Good news, I have not humped and dumped you. It's a busy life being the Queen of B-Side, actually, the queen of fucking everything. Also, to anyone who hasn't come to B-Side since my last update;



I've noticed people frequently appearing to be "out of their element" and I'm not only referring to dude's in cargo shorts, flip flops, brimmed hats and girls in tube tops making duck faces in the bathroom mirror for a photo op. Also, while we're on the topic of uncomfortable; should B-Side invest in hypoallergenic sharpies? It sure seems a lot of you under-agers are scrubbing away at those X's as if they itch like hell. Don't worry, the B-Side staff relies on plenty of eyes and ears to be your personal babysitter and when you're scrubbing those hands the staff will be sure to escort you out to prevent any unfortunate instance. If this happens to you, spend that time you have on your hands due to your early exit at the ER, since your X's are a health risk and all.

Anyway, I'm here to connect the dots for you. So that you can exude the confidence of a B-Side elitist and speak the "language". The do's and do not's and the trendy lingo that will make you relevant.

DO use the following words;
- RELEVANT
- TWEEN
- REG
- OI
- GLORY-HOLE
- PLEASE
- THANK-YOU

DO mention the following topics to make yourself RELEVANT in any conversation:
- PBR
- LIBERAL ARTS
- BUKOWSKI
- ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM
- AMERICAN APPAREL
- FLANNEL
- JESUS!!!
- DISDAIN FOR "THE HEIGHTS"
- ANY MENTION OF ME PERSONALLY

DO WEAR T-SHIRTS WITH ME ON THEM, SPECIFICALLY DEEP-THROATING A BANANA:



DO NOT use the following words:
- BRO
- RAPE
- NO (personally, this is my request I just really hate the word no)
- JAGER-BOMB
- DUB-THIRTY

DO NOT make mention of the following, you will or should have your ass beat:
- YOUR BRO'S
- INTENT TO RAPE
- JAGER BOMB'S FOR YOUR BRO'S
- YOUR NEW AFFLICTION HOODIE
- ENCOURAGING FILLY TO "PLAY MORE DUB-STEP" (I will personally have a vendetta against you)
- SMIRNOFF ICE

DO NOT BE THAT GUY AT B-SIDE DRY HUMPING YOUR UGLY GIRLFRIEND, I'M PROBABLY GOING TO TAKE A PICTURE


These tips should keep you in pretty decent shape and they will dramatically change your B-Side experience.

If you haven't visited in a while, you missed out on a lot, you should feel insecure about your social life and you have terrible taste in everything.



LAST SUNDAY, PACKED DANCEFLOOR


B-SIDE BABES FROM BABELAND


LAST MONDAY'S SHOW WITH THE KICK DRUMS (A FULL HOUSE)






Before we part ways, I'd like to encourage everyone to do a small kind thing for someone other than yourself. Specifically, for Brad. I'd like for him to have an extensive collection of gold chains with really beautiful ornaments. I'm talking crosses, spinners, weed leafs, aliens, crowns, etc. Please, know the gift of giving. He WILL wear them.

One day in counting until Sunday night, dress your best, I'll be there. Also, anything you'd like to see, hear, or know on here or all things relevant to B-Side feel free to ask me in person or e-mail me at awolfsvalentine@gmail.com. I am curious to know your thoughts. Don't mistake that for me giving a shit, but I AM curious.

"Goodnight to all the peeps tonight, and all the hoe's thinkin' you 'flossy' #younotty",
Haley Ann